What is a Marriage Retreat in North Carolina?

You might think that "a marriage retreat" sounds like something from a movie. And, in fact, it kind of is. Marriage retreats are a bit magical and movie-like because you will be a transformed person and a transformed couple by the end of the day.

A marriage retreat in North Carolina is a private program designed for you and your partner. During your marriage retreat session, you turn off your phones and leave your children with a childcare provider (if you have little kids). You spend the whole day learning about yourself, your partner, your patterns, and how to communicate and connect with each other.

It might be hard to believe, but most of us think that we know who the person we share life with is and how to talk to them. But a lot of times, we don't know how to listen actively. We usually just wait our turn to talk about ourselves, our feelings, our hopes, and our disappointments. At the same time, we minimize or sabotage our partners' emotional experiences, making them feel defensive, which often results in their withdrawal from us.

So, a marriage retreat in North Carolina will help you begin the process of profoundly understanding one another, your behavior patterns, and relationship challenges.

How Long Does a Marriage Retreat in North Carolina Last?

One marriage retreat session in North Carolina lasts seven hours, encompassing two and a half months of therapy in one day. So, it is a one-day intensive. We spend a day together, doing a series of research-based exercises intended to take us deeper and deeper on our healing journey.

Typically, we do a three-hour session in the morning, go on a break, and do three more hours in the afternoon.

What Will We Work On in a Marriage Retreat Session?

Typically, we start with an exercise called "Conversation for Connection" and an "ARE questionnaire." We evaluate your partner's accessibility (A), responsiveness (R), and engagement (E). Then you will do another exercise to try to evaluate how your partner feels about your accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement.

After each exercise, we will have a short discussion and then move on to the next one. These experientially-based, step-by-step exercises help us understand your raw spots, your triggers, and your style.

They are designed by experts in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) that we use as EFT couples therapists in our work with clients.

EFT-based exercises are personalized and specific, giving you language and a framework for what is going on inside the cycle in your relationship and how to get out. Many couples who sign up for couples counseling know that something is wrong in their relationships but don't really understand the negative cycles they are trapped in.

Marriage retreat sessions can be a lifesaver for many couples who otherwise would be stuck in their old cycles, never able to move on and heal. In your weekly session, you work on your issues, then return home and find yourself in a new conflict situation. It all starts over again the following week.

What Are Negative Cycles?

Relationships can be strained by negative cycles of behavior and interactions. Relationship issues tend to repeat themselves in a cyclical pattern: a fight, a respite, another fight, and so on. It's impossible to get out of this cycle because it prevents you from taking a step back and looking at the situation objectively.

An EFT-based marriage retreat in North Carolina allows you to learn how to recognize negative cycles in your relationship and uncover the layers of your conflicts. After attending a day-long marriage intensive, you will gain confidence in your ability to see the parallel dynamics that exist on an emotional level beyond your arguments.

For example, you will understand how you behave and how you really feel when your partner acts a certain way or when certain triggering situations are happening.

You and your partner will be able to reach out to one another for love and support even when things are bad because you will understand the nature of your negative cycle.

Summary

The marriage retreat is very flexible because it is a customized and private intensive. We can slow down during exercises when we recognize a sticky point where the trauma response happens and stay there for as long as we need to understand this moment before we move on.

The number of EFT exercises depends on a couple's attachment, the intensity of their hurt, the length of their problems, and so on.

This EFT-focused couples intensive is not a substitute for weekly couples therapy but is a place to jump-start your relationship and go deep at a pace that feels safe and comfortable for both of you before you continue with your weekly couples counseling sessions.

The price of this intensive includes a 50-minute follow-up session within a month afterward.

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to book your free 15 min phone consultation online by clicking here.