Can We Do Marriage Retreat in North Carolina if We are Not in Crisis?

Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, I meet couples who want to reconnect, find a more meaningful sense of themselves and their relationship, and heal.

Many of my clients ask me, “Can we do a marriage retreat in North Carolina if we are not in a crisis?”

Before we answer this question, let’s talk about crisis and briefly explain what is marriage retreat and why you should consider it for your marriage.

What is Marriage Retreat in North Carolina, and Who Can Benefit from It?

Marriage Retreat is a day to yourselves where you disconnect from all external stimuli. The way I do it as a part of marriage counseling Raleigh NC is that you and your partner find a neutral place (if possible), leave your phones, find child care for your children, and spend time together.

Finding a neutral place where you can stay different from your home helps remove you from the familiar environment where you constantly fight (typically your home) and spend time connecting. So, a marriage retreat can help you improve your relationship and enjoy yourselves away from everyday schedule and stresses.

Marriage retreats can be an excellent opportunity to learn about yourself and your partner, understand your patterns, and discover what is happening on a deeper level.

We generally have a good understanding of behaviors and triggers. So, for example, you know that when your partner does this and that, it triggers you, causing you to feel a certain way.

However, we rarely understand how our behaviors and what’s underneath our behaviors impact our partner’s heart and what is happening for us. As a result, we react this way, beyond feeling resentful, angry, and frustrated.

What is really happening in our hearts? Often, it is feeling sad, lonely, abandoned, and hurt. And these are typically the feelings we haven’t been able to address in a long time. So, our partners are unaware that we feel this way and where our reaction is coming from.

A marriage retreat session lasts seven hours in one day. Couples go through a series of practical, scientifically-proven exercises that take you deeper and deeper, so you basically do two and a half months of therapy in just one day.

However, marriage retreat is not a substitute for traditional weekly marriage counseling sessions. Instead, it is an excellent way to start the work and then go to weekly marriage counseling Raleigh NC sessions to continue learning from this experience and healing.

Can We Do Marriage Retreat if We are Not in Crisis?

The answer to this question is, yes, you absolutely can, and you absolutely should. However, crisis means that there are a lot of charged behaviors, aggression, and escalations that we need to address before we start working on your primary cycle and what is going on underneath.

Marriage retreat in North Carolina is a beautiful option to start healing your relationship if you are in crisis.

However, suppose your marriage is not in crisis and doesn’t feel like an ongoing war zone between you and your partner. In that case, a marriage retreat can be a perfect opportunity to start from this ease-off place and do deep work faster.

So, if you are not in crisis, you can make a lot more progress faster than when there is an escalation and crisis in your marriage.

Unfortunately, most couples wait for a rock bottom experience before seeking marriage counseling Raleigh NC. Most people will not go to a marriage retreat in North Carolina unless their marriage is in a deep crisis or they feel on edge, whether fighting all the time, leaving each other, or experiencing heartbreak.

When in crisis, a decision to seek marriage counseling can benefit you on so many levels, helping you understand your own and your partner’s needs, feelings, desires, and anxieties. It can help you learn how to regularly have an open, honest conversation with your partner without judgment, resentment, or anger.

A marriage retreat in North Carolina can help you start digging deep into your relationship issues while feeling heard, seen, and supported.

Summary

So, yes, you should consider marriage retreat if you are not in crisis.

Of course, you should also consider a marriage retreat in North Carolina if your marriage is in crisis unless there is an active, ongoing affair, abuse, or addiction.

If those three things are not present, then either weekly sessions of marriage counseling Raleigh NC, or a marriage retreat in North Carolina can be great options for you. 

If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to book your free 15 min phone consultation online by clicking here.