Should We Sign Up for a Marriage Retreat in North Carolina if We are Still Recovering from Infidelity?

Marriage retreats in North Carolina can be a fantastic solution for couples who are feeling disconnected, unhappy, and drained but want to reconnect with themselves and their significant others. An EFT-based marriage intensive is a safe and confidential environment for couples to revive their connection and passion for each other.

One of the questions that keep coming up about the day-intensive marriage retreats is whether couples should sign up for a marriage retreat in North Carolina if they are still recovering from infidelity.

The answer to this question depends on your specific situation. Nothing in therapy is black or white, and there are no universal solutions. Infidelity causes severe emotional distress and violates trust in a relationship. The discovery of an affair is typically followed by intense feelings of betrayal, shock, disappointment, sadness, anger, shame, and guilt.

However, an affair doesn't have to end your marriage. Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity can be a long and painful process. But it is possible.

When You are Still Not Ready for a Marriage Retreat in North Carolina

Suppose you are still recovering from infidelity in a way that one partner or both partners are still having an active and ongoing affair. In that case, marriage retreats in North Carolina or any other type of couples counseling will not be suitable for you because there is not enough safety in your relationship.

An affair involves a specific type of attachment, known as a competitive attachment where one of the partners turns outside of the relationship or marriage for attention or love as a substitute for unmet needs.

Ongoing involvement with another person (who in this case represents a competitive attachment figure) is a threat to a relationship.

Competitive attachment causes another partner to feel hurt, frustrated, jealous, angry, and disconnected. The more often one partner turns to a competitive attachment figure, the more distressed the relationship becomes.

Seeking a marriage retreat in North Carolina at this point may not be a good idea because it is not going to be productive or safe to do any work until the partner who is having an affair is completely done with it.

So, as long as one or both of the partners are involved with someone else, EFT couples therapy or any other type of couples counseling is not recommended.

What is recommended is to do some pre-work individual counseling. Then, both partners can do individual sessions to understand what is happening, why they are doing it, or maybe end the affair with the therapist's help. You can do couples therapy sessions or marriage retreats in North Carolina when that happens.

When Marriage Retreat in North Carolina Could Work for You

In a scenario where there is no longer active infidelity going on, but you are still recovering from feeling hurt and betrayed, it is appropriate to do either a marriage retreat in North Carolina or traditional marriage counseling sessions.

This is a common reason why many couples sign up for a marriage retreat or couples counseling. Couples therapy can help you understand what motivated infidelity and repair the rupture in your marriage. In addition, relationship counseling sessions can be a safe environment to learn from this experience and learn how to effectively talk about infidelity without the other person getting defensive, shut down, or becoming offensive.

So, suppose you decided to forgive infidelity and rebuild your marriage. In that case, you could benefit from a marriage retreat in North Carolina.

Couples intensive can help you work through this crisis in your marriage faster and more effectively, rekindle closeness in the atmosphere of understanding and support, and learn to trust your partner again. 

A skilled couples therapist can help you reflect on your relationship understand what caused infidelity and what makes your marriage worth fighting for.

Summary

Marriage retreats and couples counseling, in general, can be a great way to save your marriage if you are recovering from infidelity. Still, there is no ongoing involvement with another person anymore.

A marriage retreat can be your sheltered ground to learn how to communicate openly and honestly without bringing up infidelity, blaming, and judging. Couples intensive can help improve communication, understand the reasons for cheating, understand each other, and start rebuilding trust in your marriage.

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to book your free 15 min phone consultation online by clicking here.