How to Save Marriage After Infidelity and Lies

It’s finally November in Wake Forest, NC-my favorite time of the year! Lots of farms to visit and animals to pat, and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. But for many of my couples, this time of the year is especially hard. Very hard.

And I get it. A partner's infidelity is a challenging and life-changing situation that usually requires ongoing support from a relationship therapist. If you have recently experienced a partner's infidelity, Wake Forest couples therapy may be a safe place to acknowledge your feelings and find positive ways to cope with the new situation.

Many of my clients in Raleigh, NC, ask me how to save a marriage after infidelity and lies. If you're asking this question, it is most likely that you have already decided to give your dying marriage a second chance. So, this is a good starting point for your marriage recovery.

Furthermore, to save your marriage in trouble, your partner needs to be willing to talk honestly about his or her infidelity. Not to mention, they need to end the affair and stop contacting the person they have been involved with (regardless of whether it was emotional or sex affair).

The fallout of the affair is often devastating. If you have children, you cannot avoid getting them involved. The reality of cheating is that your children will never look at you as parents and your relationship in the same light again. The aftermath of infidelity is ugly, but facing it together can help you start rebuilding your marriage. Remember that recovery after infidelity in marriage doesn't happen overnight. It is a slow process. But possible.

What matters most to a betrayed partner is the loss of trust. Broken trust is at the core of infidelity, and it is what must be repaired first if you want to recover your deeply damaged relationship.

How to Repair Relationship Trust

The process of healing when your marriage in trouble caused by infidelity begins with the restoration of trust. Here are some strategies to help you rebuild trust and save a marriage after infidelity and lies.

Seek Couples Counseling

If your marriage is in severe crisis, you will most likely need more than just an hour a week with your couples therapist. Marriage intensive counseling in Raleigh, NC, helps couples in crisis step away from their everyday life and focus on their relationship. Wake Forest couples intensive encourages couples to understand the reasons for infidelity and delve on what can be done to move them out of the stuck position in the aftermath of infidelity.

Couples crisis intensive encourages and provides guidance to the partner who cheated to come clean about what they have done and all other aspects of their life.

You may also want to consider individual therapy for relationship issues to learn to make your self-care priority, slow down, and connect to yourself in the fallout of the affair.

Individual therapy for relationship issues in Wake Forest can help you increase self-awareness set boundaries. Psychotherapy can also be an excellent place to practice strengthening your self-compassion and learning how to forgive your partner. The ability to forgive your partner who cheated on you can help you let go of resentment, hurt, and anger, make peace with the past and start rebuilding trust.

Psychotherapy inspires personal growth and leads to better self-knowledge. In turn, better self-understanding boosts self-appreciation and helps improve your relationship.

While marriage counseling without a spouse is not ideal, psychotherapy is good for mental health regardless if you decide to stay or leave your partner.

An infidelity is a stressful event that typically overcomes our coping skills. Relationship counseling for one can help you understand your feelings better, learn effective coping strategies, bounce back, and maintain good mental health after infidelity in marriage.

Insist on Honesty

We intentionally decided to forgive the person who hurt us to achieve the piece. Forgiveness is the only way to make peace with what it was and move on. If you decide to forgive your partner for cheating, keep in mind that the emphasis is not anymore him or her or the act itself, but on yourself.

In other words, by deliberately choosing to forgive, you decide not to hold the feeling of resentment but to let go of negative emotions and improve your relationship. However, no trust can be rebuilt if your partner is unwilling to talk about the affair honestly.

Couples counseling can help you talk to your partner honestly about how you feel. It can also help you acknowledge your partner's feelings. Open, honest communication is the best way to understand the reasons for infidelity, rebuild trust, and restore your relationship quality.

Summary

In the aftermath of an affair, you will probably be confronting your partner a lot to understand the circumstances that led to infidelity. While it is essential to have this conversation, try to put biases, judgment, and hurt aside. Talk about your feelings and thoughts and try to understand your partner's without accusing and judging.

Couples counseling can provide safe grounds for understanding the reasons for infidelity, rebuilding trust, and recovering your marriage.

I hope this information helps you work out how to save a marriage after infidelity and lies. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to give me a call at (703)347 3200 and schedule your online or in person appointment in my Wake Forest office here.