How to Improve Your Marriage: Tip Three

As a licensed relationship therapist in Wake Forest, NC, I work with lots of couples and individuals who are struggling in their relationships.

Many of my clients in marriage counseling Raleigh NC want to work on themselves and their relationships to feel more secure and safe.

Couples counseling may be the right decision if you feel like you and your spouse are just roommates with no emotional or sexual intimacy anymore.

A skilled therapist can help you find each other again, learn to communicate and negotiate better, rekindle your intimacy and joy, and learn how to be there for one another.

Marriage counseling can also be a safe place to learn how to let go of old unproductive patterns and expectations of how things should be. A safe place to unpack the “baggage” you two bring from your families of origin into your adult romantic relationship.

Today, I would like to share another tip on how to improve your marriage. So, let’s delve into it.

Marriage Counseling Tip Three: Schedule a Regular Weekly Sex Date

That phase of your relationship when you and your partner couldn’t keep hands off each other has probably long ended, and you are struggling to connect with your partner now sexually.

In my practice in marriage counseling Raleigh NC, I often hear people saying they haven’t done I for a while; they feel too tired at the end of the day, their libidos have cooled down, etc.

Also, I often see one partner wanting sex and intimacy, making the other feel pressured to do it.

Their different sexual needs and desires may compromise the otherwise good relationship, so I recommend couples who want to improve their marriage to schedule regular weekly sex dates.

Yes, it is exactly how it sounds and it is not going to be spontaneous. But if you have been sexually frustrated or distant from each other, scheduling a weekly sex date is the way to rekindle intimacy and start enjoying each other again.

Weekly sex dates are planned events and, as such, cannot feel spontaneous. But if you try to approach it as a serious commitment, it may get your sex life back on track.

So, schedule a weekly sex date with your spouse and do the same things you would do for an affair partner if you had an affair. Light some candles, take a shower, play lovely, relaxing music, and wear some nice looking and feeling clothes.

Marriage Counseling: How to Overcome Sexual Dysfunction in Your Relationship

In my marriage counseling practice, I see a lot of sexual dysfunction that stems from anxiety. It can be very difficult to relax and catch up spontaneously in bed in the early years of parenting when your children sleep across the hall. So many people, women especially, struggle to take their parent hat off and put their sexy hats on, but this is a necessity for a healthy relationship.

It is tough to let go of your parental role and relax, but the sex date with your partner doesn’t have to involve sexual intercourse.

Your sex date can involve creating space to enjoy each other’s company, learn how to build a sense of pleasure in your body with no agenda or expectation.

Think about it as a permission slip to yourselves to talk about your erotic dreams and fantasies, creating a space for each other to express your most intimate desires. Then embody and accept that, being mindful that this stage of your life and your relationship is not going to last forever.

Summary

So, use regular sex dates to learn how to connect with each other. Don’t just abandon your partner who uses sex to connect because you use emotional conversations to do the same.

Marriage counseling Raleigh NC can be your safe place to come back together, have sincere conversations and find ways that will be satisfying for both of you to connect and enjoy your sexuality.

Couples therapy can help you debunk the myths and false beliefs you internalized about sexuality in order to have a fulfilling relationship.

I hope this information was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to book your free 15 min phone consultation by clicking here https://www.irinabaechlecounselingllc.com/book-a-consult