Marriage and Counseling – the Truth Why You Can’t Afford It

Marriage counseling Raleigh NC may be one of the most valuable investments you’ll make in your life. Couples who come for marriage counseling report significant improvements in their relationships in terms of better communication, improved mutual understanding, and renewed closeness. 

Still, most couples wait for six or more years before they decide to go to couples counseling. But the truth is, the longer you wait to seek professional help, the harder it may be to heal and get your relationship back to life. 

Relationship experts say that timing is everything when it comes to couples counseling. So, whether you want to improve communication, save your marriage after an affair, or decide whether you should stay together, Wake Forest counseling can help you improve your marriage or separate on friendly terms. 

Marriage Counseling: Why Couples Who Need It Don’t Invest in their Relationships?

Marriage counseling Raleigh NC is hard work. And yes, it takes time and money. So, you may decide not to go for it because with the mortgage, childcare, and other everyday expenses, you already have a lot on your plate.

However, if you start digging deeper, some other reasons you can’t afford marriage counseling may emerge. So, let’s delve into the most common reasons why people don’t invest in marriage therapy. 

1.  You Feel Like It’s Too Late

Some couples may decide not to go for marriage counseling Raleigh NC because they have simply given up on their marriage. 

Have you considered this: you may not want to work on your relationship anymore because you feel it’s too late for the things between you two to get better? You think that you are done, and you are using money just as an excuse. 

You may have reached the point in your marriage where you feel there is no possibility to be happy with your partner anymore. You have become distant and disconnected. You are turning away or against each other’s bids for connection, or you feel trapped in a roommate marriage with no intimate passion and meaningful connection. 

Why Should You Afford Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling can help rekindle the passion in your relationship by teaching you how to recognize and adequately respond to each other’s emotional bids for connection. 

According to Dr. Gottman from the Gottman Institute, marriages typically fall to bits because partners ignore each other’s bids for connection.

Emotional bids are signals we send to each other to create and maintain connection in our relationships. Emotional bids are essential to any relationship, so noticing and turning towards each other’s bids is the best way to rekindle closeness and passion in your marriage.

Dr. Gottman says that couples who want to reconnect need to turn towards each other emotionally by positively responding to one another’s bids, honestly sharing their needs and feelings, and regularly showing affection and empathy. 

2.  You Don’t Know How to Prioritize Your Marriage

If you want your marriage to work, you need to learn how to set boundaries and prioritize your relationship over other things, including your children. 

Many couples believe they need to focus only on their kids while they’re young and take care of their marriage once the children become more independent. However, it might be too late to save your relationship by the time your kids grow up. 

Putting your spouse first and setting boundaries with your kids doesn’t mean neglecting your children or family. Instead, it means checking in with each other regularly the same way you do with your kids – asking your partner what they need, how was their day at work, etc. Plan some date nights or romantic getaways to focus on each other and spend quality time together. 

Coupes retreats (vacation packages combined with marriage counseling) can be an excellent environment to explore the roots of your relationship problem, enjoy yourselves away from daily stresses, and improve your marriage.  

3.  You Haven’t Finished Your Individual Work

You may have some unresolved behavior patterns that affect your relationship and prevent you from investing in its recovery. For example, if you haven’t finished your work on your money blocks, this may prevent you from being authentic and present with your spouse. 

Money blocks are thought patterns that get in the way of you reaching financial goals and accomplishing success. 

Millions of thoughts cross our minds each day. Unfortunately, many of these thoughts are negative statements about ourselves. 

For example, you might experience money blocks related to negative self-talk or limiting beliefs such as,” There is no way I can save enough money for couples counseling,” “I have to be rich to afford to counsel,” and similar.  

Such limiting beliefs can distort your perception of reality, preventing you from seeking much-needed help.  

Summary

Marriage counseling Raleigh NC can be expensive. If your relationship is in crisis, you might be wondering, is it worth it, believing that you cannot afford therapy. 

However, marriage counseling might be one of the wisest investments in your life. 

If you have any questions or would like to schedule your free 15 min phone consultation in my Wake Forest or virtual office, you can do so by clicking here https://www.irinabaechlecounselingllc.com/book-a-consult