Deciding Whether to Commit to Relationship: Don’t Get Caught in the “Grass is Greener on the Other Side” Crap

You are in a relationship that isn’t fully meeting your expectations. You’d say you are doing okay. You get along well. Love each other. You invested your time and energy in this relationship. But you’re just not convinced if it’s the right thing. Marriage counseling in Wake Forest, NC may help you find answers if you are struggling to decide whether to commit to a relationship.

But let me tell you one thing for certain-the grass is not greener on the other side–every good relationship requires hard work and dedication. Just like with anything else, for instance, your career, house, even your car – maintenance and care are important.

We often get caught in the “Grass is greener on the other side of the fence” crap, always believing that, somehow, others have it better. Our friends have more money, bigger houses, more successful careers, better marriages. And social media is not helping all these illusions.

Is this you?

You’re happily married but sometimes you wish you were single so you can try other options.

You’re in a long-term relationship, but you are jealous of your single friends who can sleep around with somebody else each weekend.

Your sex life is satisfying, but you wish it’s more like Lauren and Mark’s. They can’t get enough of each other (and she can’t help sharing the juicy details over the brunch).

Sounds familiar?

We all strive for perfection. We’re trying to be at our best in every single aspect of life. So, naturally, you expect the best of your relationship. You don’t want to commit to run-of-the-mill. And you are not sure whether to invest in this relationship or to keep your options open because someone better may always come along.

Why the Grass is not Greener on the Other Side?

The best way to find happiness in love is to turn to your relationship and do your best to improve it. You might be tempted by the green grass of someone else’s lawn. You believe your life would be better if it were in different circumstances. That you’d be happier in another relationship. However, when you set your foot on the lawn across the street, it won’t take long before you realize that grass is actually not greener than your own.

It’s just your fear of missing it out.

One click on Instagram is enough to see that other people have it better than you. Marketing, movies, and social media show you the glossy images of what perfect life should look like. It is so easy to become restless and unhappy with what you already have with so many choices presented. So, making the right choice seems harder than ever. Constantly comparing your relationship with those of others keeps up the illusion that the perfect relationship is out there for you to find it. You are scared to commit to a relationship because you are afraid that you are missing out the perfect person. The one that might be your true soulmate. You fear that you are missing out on something better if you commit to one partner.

You simply don’t know what you want.

Your expectations may be too high, so you can never find exactly what you are looking for. Most of us believe that if we change our circumstances, our lives will get better. If we change external factors, we’ll fix the problems rooted deeply within us. If you find another partner, you’ll have a better sex life. You’ll get more attention. More love. More understanding. And if you find more love, you’ll be able to commit.

How to Be Happy with What You Have?

Searching for perfection, we often forget the simple truth. The grass is not greener in your neighbor’s yard. It is greener where you choose to water it. So, shift your mindset and decide to nourish what you have right in front of you. Choose to work on yourself. Be aware of your feelings, needs, and desires. Look over your fantasies. Boost your self-awareness. Practice gratitude. Question your expectations from a relationship. Then decide whether you want to nurture your relationship and make it work.

Summary

Each relationship requires a lot of tending. A successful relationship means constant work. It means you are kind and forgiving to each other. Moreover, a dedicated relationship means openness, trust, and honesty.

During marriage counseling in Raleigh, NC, we will work on your expectations, doubts, and uncertainties. We will confidentially move from a place of insecurity to the grounds of certainty about the future of your relationship. You’ll learn how to feel connected and safe with each other. Because the magic in a relationship doesn’t just happen – you need to work on it day after day.

If you want to feel sure about your choices and to be confident of your commitment, do not hesitate to call at (703)-347-3200 for your free of charge 15-min consultation and/or to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest office or online.