Nurturing the connection and intimacy in the marriage while raising small children can be challenging. Many couples seek marriage counseling Raliegh NC, because they feel like roommates, struggle to keep their passion alive, or don't know how to reach for each other anymore.

In previous posts, we talked about how to reach for your partner in moments of distress. We also discussed the importance of joy and knowing what brings you joy and satisfaction.  

Now, I'd want to go into more detail on how knowing how much space you need for yourself in a day may help you keep your relationship alive while raising children.

If you are exhausted of feeling alone and disconnected and hate the idea of feeling like this for another minute much less another few months, my specialized marriage retreats in North Carolina can provide the relief right here right now!

Other blog posts you might find helpful:

Why Marriage Counseling Doesn’t Work

Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC: Scheduling Sex

What is a Marriage Retreat in North Carolina?

Why EFT Focused Marriage Retreat in North Carolina?

The Importance of Space and "Me Time"

Even asking oneself, "How much space do I need?" may seem like a luxury.

Most of us need much personal space during the day. But we also believe that we cannot afford it since we have other responsibilities to take care of. You have kids to feed, work to do, a house to clean, pets to take care of, and so on. Finding space for ourselves during our busy days may seem impossible.

However, marriage counseling can be a safe place to learn to slow down and prioritize your own needs.

Knowing yourself and advocating for your needs is very important. It is critical for you, actually, to be in a good place emotionally, mentally, and physically while you are raising children.

You need space during the day to sit quietly by yourself. You need peace, silence, and contemplation to preserve your well-being and be the best version of yourself. You cannot process information, unpack, deconstruct, and work through your daily experiences, feelings, and responsibilities without taking this time just for yourself daily.

Running from one thing to another, taking care of everyone and everything, and generally striving to be the perfect parent can easily lead you to neglect your own needs. And this can take a toll on your mental health, relationships, career, and general well-being.

Slowing down and taking some time to reassess your needs takes a little of your time. Schedule five minutes on your calendar to focus on yourself and discover inner balance.

For example, wake up earlier than your children to enjoy your favorite morning beverage in silence. Or, take a couple of minutes after everyone is in bed and take a relaxing bath or listen to calming music and just breathe. That's it. You don't have to do anything else.

The 'doer' in you might feel that this is a waste of time and does nothing. However, slowing down and allowing yourself time to contemplate, breathe, and just do everything for your nervous system. It grounds you, activates the parasympathetic nervous system in your body, moves you from "fight or flight" mode, and helps you feel relaxed, calmer, and more optimistic.

Summary

We have become human doings rather than human beings because we are so busy and overwhelmed by our daily responsibilities.

So, don't overschedule yourself. Try to go back to the basics and simplify your daily life. Although we are adults, we still carry our little children in us and need to do much healing. I see it all the time in my marriage counseling practice, and I have been on a healing journey myself.

Acknowledging this is the first step, and accepting responsibility for it is the second step toward healing and becoming your best, happiest self. And the greatest gift you can give yourself and your family is this self-awareness and introspection.

I hope this is helpful and that you apply it not only to your relationship with your spouse but also to your relationships with your children, friends, and other significant people in your life. If you have any questions or would like to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation with me, click here or check out the FAQs to learn more.

This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships do what is proven to work to help them heal their relationships. Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, online therapy North Carolina, and individual counseling, there is something for every couple who wants to heal their relationship.

Stop wasting years of your precious life to feel happy. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation with me today by clicking here. During the call you will discover how having a place to heal your relationship with a guide can take you from the hurt to a healthier relationship than the one you grew up with.

Hi, I'm Irina Baechle, LCSW, in Raleigh, NC. I believe in the power of healthy relationships and write on that topic. Whether you and a partner are co-creating a healthy marriage or you are single and navigating how to have healthy relationships, my content is for you. Let's make healthy, trustworthy marriages the norm instead of the exception!

Topics I write about include marriage, infidelity, roommate marriages, healthy second marriages, and healing after toxic or unfaithful marriages.