Slow down to go faster: The benefits of slowing down your life and marriage

Slow down to go faster: The benefits of slowing down your life and marriage

Life is quite sporadic at times, especially if you live in a busy area like Raleigh or Wake Forest. Things change, people change and situations change everyday. These changes may not be glaring but they happen everyday. The issue here is that a lot of people want immediate changes. They forget Rome wasn’t built in a day. Real change takes time and effort. The new age of technology has made things so fast that waiting seems unbearable. Information gets passed around quickly, food gets prepared quickly, you can do so many things all from the comfort of your home. These benefits are many and they are amazing but we must remember that humans aren’t machines. We need time to grow and change. Kids don’t become adults in five minutes, it takes years. It is important to understand the value of slowing down and taking time when dealing with other humans. This is even more important for marriages. You must understand that your spouse won’t remain the same throughout your lives, it’s only natural for people to change, evolve and improve. It is just as important to know that these changes take time especially if it’ll be genuine. This article will discuss the benefits of slowing down in your marriage in order to go faster.

Avoid breaking down

Everyone has a breaking point, the point where they just can’t handle anything anymore. At that point the slightest of utterances could unlock a year’s worth of anger. Slowing down in your life will fix this. If you’re constantly jumping from one situation to another without taking adequate time to solve the problem, the problem remains there waiting for the perfect time to strike. A great example would be if you and your spouse have a little misunderstanding over something minor, like leaving a plate on the chair or wearing dirty shoes on the rugs, not slowing down to properly solve this will result in a hurried confrontation that is far from over. The next time you and your spouse have another confrontation the previous event will be brought up. That is how marriages fail, through years and years of bottled up emotions. Properly taking time to resolve arguments will save you the stress and trauma of reaching your melting point.

 Increasing feelings of fulfillment

Taking things slow will help you appreciate the little things more. After a long day of work the last thing you should do is get home and rush through your barely functional evening routine. Take a deep breath, enjoy the scenery, enjoy the people around you. Tomorrow is another day. Appreciation also goes a long way in marriages, if you feel better about your individual self it’s sure to reflect in your marriages. More compliments and displays of affection will follow. These are sure to strengthen your bond.

Responding to Situations

Slowing down to understand your partner will help you respond to situations better. Most people react instead of responding. Reacting to a situation means doing the first thing that comes into your mind. These actions are often spur of the moment, immediate and not well thought out. Responding to a situation is far better. Responses are well thought out and solution driven. If you slow down and take time to properly analyze the situation you will give a response instead of a reaction. If your partner knows you respond to situations instead of reacting they will feel completely comfortable telling you things. This builds trust and cooperation in a relationship.

Improving your life and relationship

Slowing down in your marriage and your life will help you with day-to-day activities. If you’re calm and collected you deal with situations better. You learn to do things well and not just fast. The first person to finish doing something is not necessarily the best. Taking time to do activities in your personal life and your marriage makes sure that they are done thoroughly and well. This is because you’re maximizing your time and effort therefore producing better outcomes.

Better decision making

One of the best benefits of slowing down is better decision making. Decisions made in the heat of the moment are seldom good. Once you slow down in your marriage you understand your spouse better and you’ll know how to make decisions that will not only benefit you but benefit your partner too. Slow pacing makes you think things through, properly weighing the pros and cons before making a decision. This benefit is highly instrumental in your day-to-day lives when you make minor decisions and major decisions.

Reduction of mistakes and stress

We already discussed how slowing down in your marriage will help you understand your partner better. Now we’re moving on to more personal benefits. Slowing down in life will reduce the number of mistakes you make. This is as a result of paying attention and being thorough with your doings. Naturally if you’re making fewer mistakes you have fewer reasons to be stressed.

Taking things slow brings out the beauty in everything. If you wait long enough, things begin to make sense and you understand how things work. Marriage therapy or marriage counseling states that understanding in marriage is the best foundation. Understanding takes time and effort. Remember, slow and steady wins the race.

I hope this information helps you understand more about how to recreate the exciting feeling that comes with a love affair between your partner and yourself in Raleigh. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to call at (703)-347- 3200 for your free of charge 15 min consultation and or to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest office or online.

If you are looking for help with your relationships or marriage, you can read more about how I can help here. One of the biggest regrets that my couples share with me is that they wish they could have started couples counseling several years sooner. You do NOT have to be one of those couples. You deserve to feel loved and confident about your relationship TODAY. So pick up the phone and give a call,  so I can teach you how to live in the day to day in a way that leaves you feeling connected and energized about being together and feeling like a REAL couple. 


Irina Baechle,LCSW is a founder, owner, and a licensed therapist at IrinaBaechleCounselingLLC. She specializes in helping distant couples and anxious singles build truly connected and meaningful relationships. She currently offers online and in-home counseling services to residents of Virginia and North Carolina (and most countries abroad). Click here to schedule your free 15 min consultation. Follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Youtube for useful tips and resources.

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