When you are about to start marriage counseling Raleigh NC, it is normal and expected to have many questions. One of the things many clients inquire about is a marriage retreat in North Carolina. They usually ask what marriage retreats are, how they work, whether they require follow-up work, etc.

Marriage retreats in North Carolina involve a one-day session (typically seven-hour long). The session can occur in person, in my Wake Forest office, or virtually. 

A marriage retreat is a beautiful gift you can give to yourself and your partner. During our marriage intensive session, you will have the opportunity to disconnect from everyday distractions (work, children, calls, emails, agendas, social networks, etc.) and entirely focus on each other. 

I always encourage my clients to find a neutral place with no history where they can spend a day getting to know themselves and their partner, learning about their cycles, inner wounds, healing, and integrating. 

A marriage intensive involves scientifically proven exercises designed by the field experts to deepen your relationship, integrate learning, and heal.

It is deep and hard work, but people come out of it really transformed. 

What are the Benefits of EFT-focused Marriage Retreat in North Carolina?

EFT is a primary modality I use in my work with clients. A marriage retreat in North Carolina that focuses on emotionally focused couples therapy or EFT is an excellent opportunity to reconnect with your partner on a deeper level.

Emotionally focused therapy is based on more than thirty years of research. It stems from the attachment theory that understands human nature and provides a great variety of evidence on articulating the inner dialogues between people. 

We can use this knowledge to understand and reorganize our emotional experiences. EFT is based on attachment theory that teaches us about common humanity – we are humans hardwired for connection, and what we want is to be seen, heard, and understood. 

EFT goes far beyond teaching “I statements” and homework exercises and focusing on behaviors. While these aspects are important, the most significant is understanding that behaviors are just a red flag of something happening.

So, if you focus only on your partner’s behaviors, you will not truly understand them and be able to connect. In other words, if your partner becomes angry or shuts down, they use certain behaviors to bring themselves back to balance. However, their own reactivity and trauma load prevent them from really seeing you and vice versa.

An EFT-focused marriage retreat in North Carolina can help you learn to experience each other’s feelings and show empathy.

A greater sense of understanding and empathy between you and your significant other can strengthen the bond between you.

Also, EFT-focused marriage retreats can help you cope with fear, anger, infidelity, trauma, and loss of trust. 

Additionally, EFT can help alleviate anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms and improve your resilience.

Learning to Connect

While learning how to solve problems, fix the relationship, and sustain that change are important steps in couples therapy, the primary phase involves learning how to connect with your partner. If you don’t connect first, you and your partner will be defensive and unwilling to open up to each other, and there will not be significant movement in your couples therapy. 

This is a process that Dr. Dan Siegel, a prominent clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, describes as a “connect then correct (redirect)” strategy. 

Specific experiential EFT exercises can help you learn how to attune to your partner’s needs and emotions and connect profoundly. When you understand the emotions, wounds, and traumas that stand behind certain behaviors, you will be able to open up and be vulnerable with your partner. 

Summary

Only when you genuinely connect will you be able to heal your emotional wounds or raw spots, how they are known in EFT. 

Our emotional wounds or injuries occur when our emotional needs are not met or are continuously ignored, neglected, or violated.

Suppose your partner repeats the hurtful behavior patterns. In that case, you will most likely feel unsafe and unseen, so you might either shut down or react with anger and aggression. And this goes the other way round. 

A marriage retreat that focuses on EFT can help you use that knowledge in future conflict situations and approach each other from a place of love, understanding, and acceptance.  

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest or virtual office, do not hesitate to book your free 15 min phone consultation online by clicking here.