How Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC And Couples Therapy Raleigh Can Strengthen Your Relationships (With Yourself AND Your Loved Ones)

As a marriage counselor, I enjoy working with individuals and couples who want to live a more fulfilling life and have happier relationships. However, good relationships take work and commitment.

Marriage counseling may provide a secure environment in which to learn how to improve your connection and enjoy your relationship.

Today we'll take another look at an EFT practice called "Identifying Your Cycle." Most of the time in our relationships, we get stuck in the same communication loop, or "dance," as it is called in emotionally focused therapy (EFT). Marriage counseling Raleigh NC can be a wonderful tool to unpack the root causes of your relationship issues and understand the steps involved in your relationship dance so you can improve it.

See other posts about:

• Relationship Myth # 2: We fell out of love and probably (?) need a divorce

• Relationship Myth # 3: Relationships should feel easy and natural

• Relationship Myth # 4: Couples therapy provides amazing results in a short period of time

• Marriage Counseling Wake Forest NC: Sneak Peek into a Powerful Relationship Exercise Part 1

In the first "Identifying Your Cycle" exercise, we identified the "dance moves," as we call them in EFT, that we take when we get uncomfortable. The first exercise is a very powerful way to start understanding what you do, what your partner does, and how the steps you both take work for your relationship.

Exercise 2: The Perception Part

When our partner triggers us, we frequently create negative thoughts or stories in our minds about the situation. Sometimes these stories are incredibly catastrophic and polarized or black-and-white, with statements like "never," "always, "shouldn't, "mustn't," etc.

Discover Where Your Relationship Stands with the Help of Marriage Counseling Raleigh

When you and your partner get into a fight or argument or approach some stressful topic or situation, the most catastrophic thing that happens in your mind can sound like the following statements:

-       You never care about how I feel.

-       You think I'm a total failure.

-       I'm never going to get it right with you.

-       I don't matter to you.

-       You never comfort me.

-       You never give me credit for how hard I'm trying.

-       We never talk about anything.

-       You never want to have sex.

-       You always have to be right and make me look like a bad guy.

-       This is hopeless. You'll never change.

So, which story do you tell yourself when things are not going well between the two of you? Identifying your story is important because it helps you dig deep, understand the story you tell yourself, and challenge it.

Why Do We Come Up with Stories?

Our bodies can carry a lot of pain and trauma from our upbringing, previous relationships, or current relationships. So, our mind uses this dramatic fight-or-flight mode to cope with stress and protect us.

However, in many cases, that protection is not needed anymore. We are not children trying to survive and cope with neglect or abuse. Instead, we can learn how to meet our needs in a way our caregivers failed to do during our childhood. Instead, we are adults trying to build healthy, stable relationships based on secure attachment.

Marriage counseling can help you rewire your brain and re-learn old, unhelpful patterns that don't serve you anymore.

Summary

Please take a few minutes daily to journal your perceptions and the stories you tell yourself when you are in a bad place with your partner.

Understanding your perceptions may help you identify behavior patterns that used to work but no longer do and impede your meaningful relationships, so you can start altering them.

If you want to start improving your emotional and sexual life and rekindling the connection in your relationship, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.

This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships do what is proven to work to help them heal their relationships. Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, online therapy North Carolina, and individual counseling, there is something for every couple who wants to heal their relationship.

Stop wasting years of your precious life trying to feel happy. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation with me today by clicking here. During the call, you will discover how having a place to heal your relationship with a guide can take you from the hurt to a healthier relationship than the one you grew up with.

Hi, I'm Irina Baechle, LCSW, in Raleigh, NC. I believe in the power of healthy relationships and write on that topic. Whether you and a partner are co-creating a healthy marriage or you are single and navigating how to have healthy relationships, my content is for you.

Let's make healthy, trustworthy marriages the norm instead of the exception!

Topics I write about include marriage, infidelity, sex, roommate marriages, healthy second marriages, and healing after toxic or unfaithful marriages.