If you feel unloved, alone, and unheard in your marriage, it may be time to seek marriage counseling.

Marriage counseling Raleigh NC is an excellent way to address relationship problems such as emotional disconnection, loss of intimacy, and feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Also, many couples who feel like roommates and lack passion and authenticity consider marriage counseling Raleigh a safe place to rekindle their connection.

If your marriage feels like this and you want more out of it, you might want to try marriage therapy and get back on track so that you can feel secure, loved, seen, and heard by your partner.

At the moment, all marriage counseling sessions in Raleigh are done online, except for EFT intensives, which take place either at my office in Wake Forest, NC, or at the clients’ homes, depending on what’s most appropriate.

Understand Your Blocks

Conflicts in relationships frequently arise as a result of one or both partners engaging in harmful behaviors. For example, you may lash out at one another, withdraw and distance yourself, criticize, or minimize the problem without understanding what caused it.

You may become so absorbed in these counterproductive patterns that you forget why you started arguing in the first place after a few minutes. If this is happening to you, you need to slow down and understand your blocks.

What are Relationship Blocks?

In emotionally-focused therapy (EFT), relationship blocks are the stuck points in a relationship cycle that cause relationship distress. These blocks are the moments in your cycle where you miss each other and where you don’t understand each other. This causes reactivity, withdrawal, distancing, and judgment.

To figure out what your blocks are, you need to slow down and carefully watch how your relationships work and how you contribute to problems in your marriage.

And this may be really difficult to do on your own because you are so emotionally invested in this exchange. When having an argument with your spouse, you are in the emotionally charged moment, too overwhelmed to be cognitively aware of what is happening.

When we are stressed and overwhelmed, we cannot really learn and grow because our prefrontal cortex, which is in charge of impulse control, problem-solving, planning, and reasoning, simply shuts down.

So, all we can do is try to calm and soothe ourselves, but there is not much more we can do in those moments.

A Jungle Metaphor

Let’s use "A Jungle Metaphor" to better understand how the whole process works.

Imagine you and your partner are lost in the jungle. You don’t know where you are going through the tick foliage. You feel stuck, lost, and desperate.

But you run into me, a highly trained pilot who can teach you basic survival skills and get you out of the jungle. I can assess your basic wounds, teach you how to climb on the palm tree together so you can see the beautiful beach where you are going. I can take you there if you want to go.

But for this to happen, you have to trust each other. And you have to trust me and the EFT process to create a secure attachment (the beautiful beach you need to get to).

So, to understand your blocks, you need to slow down so you can understand what you are doing and where you are going in order to see the results.

You may feel hopeless and discouraged because you keep trying and seeing no improvement in your relationship. However, what really happens is that you try the same thing over and over again, using the same unproductive patterns.

Summary

To understand your blocks, you need to:

·       understand your sore spots – areas in your nervous system that get dysregulated

·       learn how to communicate and heal them

·       do the same for your partner.

This is a pretty complicated process that takes time and a lot of understanding.

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or want to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation with me, click here or check out the FAQs to learn more.

This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships do what is proven to work to help them heal their relationships. Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, online therapy North Carolina, and individual counseling, there is something for every couple who wants to heal their relationship.

Stop wasting years of your precious life trying to feel happy. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation with me today by clicking here. During the call, you will discover how having a place to heal your relationship with a guide can take you from the hurt to a healthier relationship than the one you grew up with.