Relationship Therapy, Raleigh NC

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Marriage Counseling Raleigh NC: How Do You Reach Out When You Are Upset?

It could be time to look into marriage counseling Raleigh, NC, if you feel ignored, alone, misunderstood, or unheard in your marriage.

Couples counseling is a great way for couples who love but don't like each other anymore to address issues, including emotional distance, loss of intimacy, and feelings of loneliness and isolation.

If your marriage feels like a roommate marriage and you want to change the steps of your relationship dance so that you can feel a deep, meaningful attachment to each other and be happy with who you are, marriage counseling may be the place for you.

Now we know that stress has a direct effect on both mental and physical health. How you move as a couple through the world impacts every other aspect of your life – your relationship with your children and friends, your self-esteem, health, and overall well-being.

So, how do you reach out to your partner when you are upset?

How Do You Reach Out When You Are Upset?

Conflicts and arguments are unavoidable in a relationship. But knowing how to express your feelings and repair an argument can teach you how to use conflicts to improve your relationship.

After understanding how you express love and how you repair after an emotional upset, it is essential to know how comfortable you are reaching your partner when your heart is uncomfortable.

This is something you need to understand about yourself first before you talk to your partner.

What Do You Do When You Get Upset?

What do you do when your heart feels uncomfortable, anxious, and insecure? Do you try to think about and make sense of it?

·       Do you externalize your uneasiness by lashing out, becoming aggressive, or passive-aggressive? 

·       Do you act out, get hostile, or become passive-aggressive when uncomfortable?

·       Do you withdraw and internalize it by believing that you're not good enough and that you're the problem (which fuels feelings of inadequacy)?

·       Do you shut down, suppress your feelings, and refuse to bring up the subject because you don't want to rock the boat?

Keep a journal or practice mindfulness to understand your main moves or patterns better when you feel upset. Then, after you answer these questions, think about how you reach for your partner when you feel this way.

Do you reach for your partner when you feel upset?

When asked this question during individual marriage counseling sessions, most people answer that they don't emotionally reach out to their partner because doing so makes them feel unsafe.

Marriage counseling Raleigh can be a great place to unpack this problem and improve your relationship with yourself and your partner.

Summary

Journaling can be a wonderful way to reflect on what you do when there is an upset and how you show this upset to your partner. Think about whether is there anything you can do to improve that or if you need extra help.

You might be so immersed in stress that you might be unable to do it alone. That is why there are therapists out there like myself who can walk you through every step of the process. Once we build the alliance, I can soothe your system first and understand what is happening for you. Then, I can teach you how to do it yourself and your partner how to do it for you.

Eventually, you and your spouse will be able to do it on your own, but you may need to do some pre-work on learning to understand and soothe yourselves first.

Marriage counseling Raleigh NC can help you understand the following:

·       Your triggers and stressors

·       Your steps and cycle

·       How do you express love

·       How do you repair after an argument

·       How do you reach out to your partner when you feel upset.

Then, we can create a plan that works for you.

I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions or want to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation with me, click here or check out the FAQs to learn more.

This is not your typical weekly kind of therapy. I am here to help couples and individuals in relationships do what is proven to work to help them heal their relationships. Through marriage counseling Raleigh NC, marriage retreat in North Carolina, online therapy North Carolina, and individual counseling, there is something for every couple who wants to heal their relationship.

Stop wasting years of your precious life trying to feel happy. Schedule your free 15-minute consultation with me today by clicking here. During the call, you will discover how having a place to heal your relationship with a guide can take you from the hurt to a healthier relationship than the one you grew up with.