Practicing the act of gratitude is one of the best ways to create happiness and affection in your marriage whether you are in Wake Forest, Raleigh, or some other location. Being able to cultivate so much gratitude and appreciation for our partner is essential to improving the kind of marriage life that we have. Sometimes, it may look like you have nothing to be really grateful for because you feel your marriage life is difficult but when you dwell only on the good sides of our partner, it can open our body and soul into getting much more than we ever wanted. Yes! gratitude can transform marriages and here is how.

Gratitude places your focus on the things that are working

In our lives today, we can become so busy that we can easily begin to ignore the positive things in our marriage while directing our attention to the things which seem to be going wrong. We have a lot of things that we wish our spouse would do differently. In the long run, we could begin to develop opinions about our partner. She is egocentric, he is lazy and doesn’t help me out, she is not sensitive to my wants, and so on. Having such thoughts will make us begin to way every single thing that our spouse does on the platform of criticism. You start to focus your thoughts on how selfish your partner always is and you begin to nag and go over and over how they are not living up to your expectations.

You need to begin focusing your thoughts on all the positive things that are happening in your marriage and reflecting on the wonderful qualities of your spouse which you do not really take note of. When you channel your thoughts to the positives and try to point out the things that are going well, you practically cause your brain to form new pathways which will help you to begin seeing your marriage and your spouse in a better way. The good things you seem to have forgotten will begin to resurface and you will be able to realize that even if your marriage is not a perfect one, there are still very positive sides to it. You will also get to notice a lot of things that your partner does that you never gave them credit for.

Making it a conscious and deliberate habit to focus on the positive side will train your mind and help you begin to reason differently about your marriage. As time goes on, you will find that it becomes relatively easier to focus on good thoughts even when things do not go so great and you will be able to scale those trying times better. So, focus on positive thoughts so that they will always be available for you to always draw on them when needed.

Gratitude breeds happiness, love, and compassion

Gratitude has a direct relationship with happiness and that fact cannot be disputed. If you channel your thoughts in positive things, you will feel happier and with happiness comes the feeling of being more loving and generous. It is a very simple process. Remember how receiving heartwarming news makes you feel so good and gets you wanting everyone to have the same feelings. Gratitude is indeed a gift that we already possess and when you identify the qualities that make your spouse valuable to you build very positive feelings about them in you and open your mind to realize that they actually share those qualities with you.

Gratitude is a social emotion which helps you to see the ways in which other people have shown you support. When you become appreciative of these things, you begin to feel the need to give back because you feel blessed. A grateful attitude will help you to see that there are lots of persons, not only in Wake Forest, Raleigh, but also all over the world who would give anything to have the gifts that you possess, and will also remind you that even if your marriage is not perfect, you are in a fortunate situation. By counting and focusing on the things that we are thankful for in our marriage, we will constantly feel happy and loved.

Gratitude will help your partner feel loved

There is a lot of magic that comes with expressing gratitude. Remember how happy and loved you feel when someone tells you how much they appreciate you for being kind and loving, or for making s contribution to a certain cause. When people appreciate us, our brain gets signals which make us feel that we have done the right thing and that we are good people. This becomes a motivation for us to put in much more effort.

So if you want to make your partner to do much more than they actually do, to give you much more attention, and be more loving towards you, then you must first develop an attitude of being grateful for having them in your life. If you make your spouse always feel like no matter what effort they put it they won’t do it right, then they will never be willing to try. But when you make them see that you notice the efforts that they put in and actually value it, they will feel loved and will be motivated to want to keep you pleased all the time.

Keep in mind that couples counseling can be a very important solution for your marriage problems. Marriage counseling has a way of not just make your relationship with your spouse better, but also improving the health of your relationship in general. With marriage counseling, you will be able to really get to know and understand how your spouse’s mind works and you will also get to discover every idea that has built up over a very long time in their heads. With couples therapy, you will finally be able to tackle the problems that are eating away at your marriage.

I hope this information helps you understand more about how to recreate the exciting feeling that comes with a love affair between your partner and yourself in Raleigh. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to call at (703)-347- 3200 for your free of charge 15 min consultation and or to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest office or online.

If you are looking for help with your relationships or marriage, you can read more about how I can help here. One of the biggest regrets that my couples share with me is that they wish they could have started couples counseling several years sooner. You do NOT have to be one of those couples. You deserve to feel loved and confident about your relationship TODAY. So pick up the phone and give a call,  so I can teach you how to live in the day to day in a way that leaves you feeling connected and energized about being together and feeling like a REAL couple. 


Irina Baechle,LCSW is a founder, owner, and a licensed therapist at IrinaBaechleCounselingLLC. She specializes in helping distant couples and anxious singles build truly connected and meaningful relationships. She currently offers online and in-home counseling services to residents of Virginia and North Carolina (and most countries abroad). Click here to schedule your free 15 min consultation. Follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Youtube for useful tips and resources.

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