Making a good relationship great: The morning routine to maximize connection

Making a good relationship great: The morning routine to maximize connection

It’s finally starting to feel like Fall here in Raleigh, NC. The air is crisp and fresh and it feels so wonderful to go for a long walk with your partner, dog, or both:) That is what we have been doing for the last week with our dog Harper-taking her to the nearby Shelly Lake that is part of the greenway right by where we live in North Raleigh off Six Forks. It’s quite, beautiful and peaceful there-mini mid day getaway!

This week we are talking about creating a morning ritual as a couple in Raleigh, NC. Why? Because the road your day takes is highly dependent on how your morning goes. If your morning goes bad, there’s a high chance the rest of your day will feel bad even if there’s nothing wrong. This is because the power of manifestation often takes a part in determining what happens. In the morning, you have to think positive thoughts, envision positive outcomes for your day and believe in them. For a couple this is even more crucial. To maintain a strong connection, you must do this together, as a family. Even though being married does not necessarily mean you and your spouse have to be joined at the hip, a lot of decisions that you take will not only affect you as an individual but also the rest of your family.

Therefore, you must have a solid morning routine plan that will help you bond without being overbearing and will also help your individual journeys. With that being said, these are a few things to do before 8 am that’ll further strengthen your marriage. These are easy and simple to do before work or before the school bus arrives. You are free to select at least five (or one) of these activities to form your morning routine.


A great way to become more comfortable with each other is by cuddling. Whoever wakes up first can initiate the cuddle. This could last for as long five minutes so you can enjoy and bask in the presence of each other. Contact is one of the foremost tips of marriage therapy or marriage counseling.


Reading religious/spiritual books and praying together are efficient ways to tap into the power of manifestation. Unlike what most people might think, you do not need to be religious to benefit from praying. For example, I consider myself agnostic (and so are most of my clients), but I love creating little space in the morning where I envision my life, where I want my marriage and relationship to go, focus on specific goals, and give appreciation to the universe for all the amazing things I have in my life. You could both do something similar separately for about ten to fifteen minutes before meeting to discuss what you have envisioned and what your personal interpretation of the book you studied are. After this you can both pray together and speak good outcomes into the events of your day. You can also invite your children to pray with you or tell them to pray separately before you all pray together. Either option is fine but on the days you don’t have that much time, individual prayers are the way to go.


Exercise has several benefits besides keeping you toned and fit, it has been shown to decrease bad cholesterol, combat anxiety and depression, lower the risk of heart diseases, decrease levels of stress, live longer and increase agility. These are just some of the numerous benefits of exercise. If you work a desk job, there’s a high chance you don’t get to move around a lot, exercising in the morning will help you stay fit. There are several exercises you and your spouse can do together and it won’t cost a thing. There are couples yoga videos on YouTube for free, there are also simple cardio routines on the internet. All you have to do is pick one, do it for about thirty minutes to get your heart pumping and that’s all. It could be done inside the house or outside enjoying the scenery of Wake Forest, NC. Working out as a couple is a journey to good and long lasting health. This is an investment that will always remain with you. It also doesn’t hurt to set good examples for your children. If they see you working out they’re more likely to work out and improve their quality of life.

Time for a bath

After exercising it’s time for a bath or a shower. Bathing together is good for the environment because you’re saving water, it saves time and it also spices up your marriage. Exercise increases sexual arousal so you’re also adding a bit of romance to your marriage. On a more practical note, as couples get older they begin to lose the spark of romance in their marriage, they stop undressing in front of each other because they feel unhappy with their bodies. After combating this with exercise you should also reap the fruits of your labour by showing off the body you worked hard for. Having a bath together is a great way to get some alone time, build your body confidence and also connect. It doesn’t always have to be about romance, you can also goof off in the bath, crack jokes and have a mini karaoke session right in the bathroom.

Get dressed

Getting dressed together is a romantic and effective way to spend time together. For busy couples, the aforementioned activities you can do together are activities you naturally do alone. By doing this together you’re not wasting any extra time and you’re spending quality time together. Your could help your husband with his tie or you could help your wife with the buckle on her shoes. These are simple, everyday things that you can reinvent for your own benefit.

Eat together

It’s finally time for breakfast, you can both share a cup of coffee or tea. You could enjoy cereal together. This is a wonderful way to spend time together as a family. Drop the devices and talk to one another. Ask your kids what they have planned for the day, ask your spouse how they envision their day going. Use this time to motivate one another for the day ahead. You also don’t have to talk about anything in particular. You and your spouse could just sit there in comfortable silence. Good communication isn’t all about words.
These activities are well-tested ways to improve your marriage without going out of your way. When I provide marriage therapy to my couples, I often recommend spending quality time with each other and these activities do just that. Don’t worry if you can’t accomplish all of these activities at the same time or every day. Doing some of them even once a week will help you both feel more emotionally reconnected and “together” in your marriage. You don’t have to perform every single activity especially if it isn’t aligned with your spirituality which is why in the opening paragraph we stated that these activities are interchangeable. Eventually, with persistence and continuity you will find the routine that is absolutely perfect. Don’t be afraid to try new things in your marriage, continue to preserve and strengthen your marriage even if everything seems perfect. Marriages don’t have to be tedious or redundant, find ways to have fun and spice up your lives.

I hope this information helps you understand more about how to recreate the exciting feeling that comes with a love affair between your partner and yourself in Raleigh. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to call at (703)-347- 3200 for your free of charge 15 min consultation and or to schedule an appointment in my Wake Forest office or online.

If you are looking for help with your relationships or marriage, you can read more about how I can help here. One of the biggest regrets that my couples share with me is that they wish they could have started couples counseling several years sooner. You do NOT have to be one of those couples. You deserve to feel loved and confident about your relationship TODAY. So pick up the phone and give a call,  so I can teach you how to live in the day to day in a way that leaves you feeling connected and energized about being together and feeling like a REAL couple.


Irina Baechle,LCSW is a founder, owner, and a licensed therapist at IrinaBaechleCounselingLLC. She specializes in helping distant couples and anxious singles build truly connected and meaningful relationships. She currently offers online and in-home counseling services to residents of Virginia and North Carolina (and most countries abroad). Click here to schedule your free 15 min consultation. Follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Youtube for useful tips and resources.

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